What do you want?
What do you want? What do you think will make you truly happy? I assure you it not one specific thing or another. But a combination. Perfect combinations. Some believe it is money. Success. Status. Power. These motives are but momentary gateways to happiness. Not where happiness is found. Fleeting feelings of internal goals. A happiness that is sold to us in a bottle of coke. But we are buying into it. We are buying into it with our wallets, with our time and everyday energies. Why? Because we don’t know any better. We never question the norm. The status quo and the regularities that make our world tick. Don’t be a passive observer, be a participant in this life. Ask the questions of yourself that need asking. One of the hardest things to change is you.
“What makes old age hard to bear is not the failing of one’s faculties, mental and physical, but the burden of one’s memories.” W. Somerset Maugham
But why upset that balance? Someone might question your motives. Because we are all puzzle pieces, aren’t we? No we’re not. We have the freedom to be whoever we want. As long as you know you are headed in the right direction. Who is to question you otherwise? Happiness is what you make of it. If you pursue your goals, your true ambitions without questioning, then even if you fail at whatever you do there is always the satisfaction of having tried.
I recently read one of George Orwell’s lesser known works ‘Coming Up For Air’. An excellent account of a man growing up through World War One and onwards. Throughout the novel the author comes to some profound realizations about living the life we truly want and not becoming swept up in it’s expectations. One exert reads:
“Because in the life we lead – I don’t mean human life in general, I mean life in this particular age and this particular country – we don’t do the things we want to do. It isn’t because we are always working. Even a farm hand or a Jew tailor isn’t always working. It is because there is some devil in us that drives us to and fro on everlasting idiocies. There’s time for everything except the things worth doing. Think of something you care about. Then add hour to hour and calculate the fraction of your life you have spent doing it. And then calculate the time you’ve spent on things like shaving, riding buses to and fro, waiting in railways junctions, swapping dirty stories and reading the newspaper.”
Though some things such as waiting in ‘railways junctions’ are not as applicable to present day, the thought still serves it’s purpose some 60 years later. And the question remains. What do you love doing? And how much actual time to you spend doing it? Something to think about on your Thursday.
On another note, I quit my job this week. I actually did. Well, not actually. I simply gave notice that I will not be returning after June. The nature of the job dictates notifying this far in advance. Don’t worry it was not out of the blue, but fully thought out and weighed in all facets. In any case, it is liberating. I have enjoyed my job and grew tremendously as a person because of it. However, by giving notice I have freed myself to follow the path I know I am meant to at this time. The sheer fact of having committed myself to the next project. The next big adventure…and trust me it is. The last two years living on the Island of Hainan, China have been extremely rewarding and thrilling. An adventure unto itself. I tried my best never to take it for granted and I still have the rest of this year to soak up the time I have left here. But a ode to Hainan is for another day. Right now I am focused on enjoying the present and putting together the pieces of the future. Gearing up for what will be the adventure of a lifetime. Stay tuned for details in the coming weeks.